Experiencing the feminine in the simple activities of life
27 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Fun things to do, Real Life Test for TG Woman, Robin's Blogs, Tips
Hi
This is Robin and I know its been while since I contributed to Denae’s blog. Denae has resumed contributing to it and so I took a break from it. Its actually hard to contribute to a blog on a regular basis.
In the interim I have had lots of time out en femme, but most of the activities have been pretty ordinary. There have been no trips to the symphony, ballet, or faires. Instead I have been doing the ordinary tasks of life but in my prefered “femme” image. As I have mentioned previously, I have come to value such times even more than events like the symphony since they are more like real life and not just “dressing up.” I have developed a nice wardrobe of T-shirts and jeans that are perfect for “real life” and living like every other female. Add in some boots, sandals, sweaters, and ponchos and one can create some great looks. Its been ages since I wore a skirt but I have found that T-shirts and jeans can be just as feminine. It has more to do with the presentation than the actual clothes. I now have all these skirt suits and dresses hanging in my closet that never get worn. I gave away probably 5 bags of clothes recently (and I could hardly tell anything was different in my closet!!).
So what ordinary things have I been doing? I have had lunch probably 5 times with one of my female friends who knows and accepts Robin. We have just gone to sandwich shops and similar places. Nothing fancy but its been fun.
I went to a regular hair stylist to get a wig trimmed. My favorite one was suffering from overuse and was shedding handfuls of hair everytime I brushed it. I found several nice human hair wigs on ebay and bought them but they needed styling. I called wig shops and none were interesting in cutting a human hair wig and so I looked around for a regular sylist. I found one who who would do it and went to the studio in her home. I had to wait weeks since she is evidently very busy. I met her and she trimmed it nicely. She treated me very nicely and all went well. There is almost nothing to report. I am heading back since the wig I purchased is not what I hoped it would be and so I will have her work on another.
My most recent outing was going grocery shopping for a sick friend. The woman with whom I had lunch became ill and was laid up for several weeks. She had been unable to drive since the medicine she was taking made it unsafe to do so and the store is too far away to walk to. I asked her if she needed someone to go to the store and she said she did and so I volunteered. I met her at her home and we made a list. I drove to the nearby Safeway and filled the cart with items on her list. In the process I chatted with clerks and other customers. It all was completely normal, no rudeness, no weird looks, just another woman doing the shopping. Is there anything experience more typically female than grocery shopping? The checkout clerk even asked me if I needed help with the cart.
My friend is doing better but the shopping experience really reminded me that we often better experience the feminine in the simple activities of life. In some ways they are a lot more scary since it is the real world rather than some extented TG closet but it is also a lot more satisfying. Getting the oil in your car changed while en femme may not seem as exciting as dancing the night away in some TG club but it is a lot more real.
New Hip Pads Hit The Runway! Yea, Woman No More Hip Exercises
22 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Tips, Uncategorized
Hello Everyone- I am so happy, as someone finally designed a smaller, more natural hip pad for women. A previous model for many of the major department stores, the coordinator would want the models to have flat bumms so the clothes would hang and not grab. Now, many tg’s willl wear pads to large fortheir bone/body size–and it does not look natural. So, herewith the breaking news on one of my favorite web sitesl Yes, smaller hip pads for women.
They are called Siloutte and the higher end dept store carries them. You will begin to see HIPS on the runway, but NOT the larger hip pads sold at most tg stores.
How To Have Your Breast Forms Best Fit In Your Bra
23 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Breast Form Store, Tips Tags: Clothing Tips For The Taller TG Woman
Hello from Denae. Today I wanted to make a comment on where to place your breast forms in your bra; Recently a client and i were working on her wardrobe and why the blouse was not fitting correctly.. I suddently reaoized she had placed her breast forms outward to appear to blend with the upper arm, ( most T woman have larger upper arms and feel the breast form should be closer to the upper arm. . However, when I pulled both breast formsd INWARD, leaving some space between both breasts–she looked more natural and thinner.. Put a little blush or color, on our chest.
When getting dressed, stand in the of your mirror and have your pads facing forward and some what more inward. In addition. check to see they are not to high as it will appear like a padded bra!. Each blouse or sweater will be different, so change your pads and check the best direction for each blouse. Ttry turning the pads with longer sides– pointing upward– for a slope look) which looks more natural than a round pad amd do’t forget to re-adjust your bra stra–not to high or to low. With tight sweaters, you may not want to go as large as normal with the padding, unless of course you want the attention! Interesting jewelry around the bustline is always interesting, it can b worn short or long! And try to get your correct bra measurement. Once you know a great bra line for yoi, and you have determined your correct size, try to stay with that line, as so many lines have different sizes and the less expensive bras will stretch, and not last.The nude Skin tone is a great color, along with black. And enhancers go well with pads that might be a little small!
Have fun, feeling feminine
Denae
Beard Concealer and Wigs
16 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Tips
Beard Concealer and Wigs
With a pair of cuticle scissors, carefully trim all nose and ear hairs. Many cross dressers forget this, and even after you makeup is removed, having no visible nose or ear hair is just a good practice to get into. Remington even makes electric shavers designed just for this purpose. Purchase a good pair of tweezers and a magnifying mirror with a light and search for any stray or gray hairs on your nose or between your eyebrows.
Camera flashes will definitely show heavy shadowed beards under most makeup. I recommend purchasing a beard concealer from any TG salon or web site, or make your own.. I make my own, to use on clients…so I can create a custom color…just think this way. You want to use two colors to take out the blue beard. Yellow and Orange. Try a cream or a powder–however a cream is probably best for Tg’s. This allows you to apply the exact proportion of pink and/or orange for your first coat. And, a yellow cream for your second coat. Pink/ Orange and a Apply a Pink (or Orange cream lipstick)– to the beard and mustache areas using a “patting” motion. You don’t need to apply very much, just a light coat over the beard and mustache area will take the “shadow” out of the beard. Then, apply a yellow concealer which is found at any drug store (for dark circles under the eyes). Experiment with with how much orange you will need compared to how much yellow you will need. Everyone is different. Like the artist…find the right shade of yellow and orange to mix/blend together– to cover the color of your beard. Again, you can use a cream–such as a orange or pinkish orange of lipstick OR you can use a powder in orange or pinkish orange blush. Finding that perfect percentage of yellow and/or orange…in a cream…is the best way I know to create your own beard concealor for only a few dollars. If you need to purchase a beard concealer, on the Internet, I suggest Ben Nye beard conealer, under $10.00
Bra –For Comfort
12 Dec 2011 1 Comment
in Tips
I am always looking for different styles for a more comfortable bra–yet pretty, and one with great support.
We have all seen the television commercials recently for the new Genie Bra. Okay, I lost all self control and ordered another from my hundreds of bras. The newest version 2 – of this comfort bra–has the new side pad which is the most natural pad, I have ever seen put into a bra. . I love this bra. No hooks, snaps, and you actually pull it on BY STEPPING INTO IT. What I love is the comfort and look., however the number one reason to purchase this bra–is if you like to sleep in your bra. In other words–if you don’t want to change your bra from day to night, etc. You can wear this bra–sleep in it, and it works regardless of the style. If you like comfort and no sharp straps, give this one a try. Or, if you have not ppurchased costly breast forms, this new added pad will work for the new girl. And, the price is very reasonable, they send you three colors with your order–I ordered larger so I could throw them in the hot dryer (the cup fits any size or form) just measure aroundd your torso and go up one size. If you’re a comfort creature, you will have a diffficult time taking this bra off! They cost about $12.00 a piece! And, in three colors–the front of the bra–can look as if you’re wearing a shell or top–covers some of your chest area (or not). Perhaps take a look on the internet for the Genie Bra, however I purchased mine on QVC–as they had live video to show the many ways you can use the bra for for a shell or lacy camisole. Perhaps, try the QVC web site and type in the name, and watch video. If any of you have tried this, I would like to hear how it fit your body shape.
Denae
Looking for Better Breast Forms
03 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in Fashion Tips For The Transgendered Woman, Robin's Blogs, Tips, Tips For Cross Dressers
Although I liked the Amoena Aire breast forms, I continued to look for something better. I tried several other types of forms some of which I initially liked but eventually grew dissatisfied with all of them.
I tried the Transform breast forms which are popular in TG circles because they are (or at least were) inexpensive. I found them a little to “industrial” for my taste. They were sort of “tough” to the touch was was great for being stuffed in a bag but less so when worn for 8 hours or more. They ended up in my “old breast form box.”
Like most TGs I had fantasied about how nice attachable forms would be so that I could go braless, sort of the natural woman look, and the next best thing to having real implants. The first set I tried was some used Amoena forms that had velcro attachments on the inside. I found them on ebay for a fraction of their original cost. They needed special adhesive tabs that stuck to the chest and contained the matching velcro. The two velcro pieces held the forms to the the chest. It sort of worked but I found the tabs to be unreliable and very expensive ($10/pair). I often felt “insecure” and had some near disasters. In the end it did not just work very well.
After that I tried sprayon adhesive which worked much better and was much less expensive. It took several tries to get a good adhesive that did not irritate my skin, held the forms reliably, and could be removed from both the form and me with minimal damage to both. The first adhesive I tried caused intense burning on my skin and I nearly destroyed the form trying to get it off quickly. I ended up with a bright red marks on my chest which were sort of hard to explain (“Honey, I must have had a reaction to the soap in the hotel”). I finally settled on Holister Adhesive which worked well and did not irritate my skin. The whole process, though, was such a pain that I decided to forgo it. Getting the spray in the right place, waiting for it to dry, and then trying to remove it from the form and from me was just too much effort for the benefit. Somehow I always ended up with extra adhesive stuck on my skin which tended to attract difficult to explain lint. As I have said before, my goal is to quickly get dressed and get out so that I can spend as much time out as possible. Spending valuable time on such an effort was not worth it. Besides once the forms are in the bra, it is hard to tell if they are attached or not.
I continued, though, to look for a less messy attachable form alternative. I next tried the adhesive support bras (like NuBra). I bought generic versions on ebay for $5-8 per set and found they stuck nicely to my chest. I could remove them easily (but carefully – ouch) and they lasted 10-15 wearings. Using 2-3 forms layered on one another provided a nice fullness. I wore them regularly for several months, both with and without a bra. Unfortunately they also tended to be really solid feeling since their real purpose is to support and enhance natural breasts, not replace them. They felt just too unnatural and so ended up growing dissatisfied with them too. I ended up going back to the Amoena forms.
Later I heard about PAL beast forms on the internet and tracked them down on ebay. PALs are non-silicone breast forms. They are soft, look very nice and are comfortable to wear. They are also virtually indestructable. One can crush them, stretch them, or even trim them with a scissors without any problems. Somewhere there is an ad showing one being run over by a car with no ill effects. Unlike regular silicone forms that contain a gel with a wrapper around it, PALs are solid all the way through. There is nothing to leak out or damage. If you are the type not to be careful when you pack things up, they are great. They are also nice for sleeping in as they cannot be damaged by laying on them. I wore them on and off for several years before going back to the Amoena Aire forms. Once again I felt they were are just a little too “solid” to feel natural. I also found that when I packed them in my suitcase and checked it, I was almost certain to have the suitcase opened by airport inspectors. They must have the same xray image as more dangerous items. Its funny since my Amoena forms never seem to trigger such inspections but the PALs always do.
The net result of all my investigations was to stick with my Amoena forms. I was able to buy a second set on ebay for only $70 and my search for breast forms pretty much ended except for one slight problem that I will cover in a future post.
robin
Breast Forms – Starting Out
23 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Robin's Blogs, Tips, Tips For Cross Dressers
I am of an age that when I started dressing as I wanted, one of big problems was what to use for breast forms. Unlike today, in which you can buy very nice silicone breast forms on ebay or from online stores like The Breastform Store, for less than $50, when I started out such forms could only be found in the Sears catalog or in physical stores for hundreds of dollars each. They were clearly out of reach for multiple reasons. As a result I went through a series of low cost substitutes such as socks (or pantyhose), water balloons, ziplock baggies, etc.. They were all unsatisfactory for one reason or another. Socks were rigid and unnatural. Water balloons were too firm and tended to slosh about. Ziplock baggies tended to leak. I never tried rice but I had my doubts about it too. For a long time my favorite solution was to fill highly stretched out balloons with the gel from inside “blue ice” packs. I left the balloon inflated for serveral days and then let the air out. I put the blue ice gel in with a funnel. The blue gell had the right consistency and was easily available. The forms were difficult to make but worked well and lasted a long time.
Eventually I found my first set of silicone breast forms. I bought them from a TG woman who had gone full time and for whom hormones had provided sufficient fullness that she no longer needed the forms. I found her on a pre-internet bulletin board and arranged a meeting time. We were to meet in a shopping mall around 8:30pm. The forms were $200. We met as if I was buying drugs. We briefly greeted one another, I gave her my money, she gave me a box, and we quickly departed. I felt like I had procured a great treasure and was very happy.
The forms were teardrop shaped which I discovered was less than idle but they were very nice and lasted several years of regular use until one day I found they had been eaten by a rat. At the time I kept my things in a storage locker and somehow a rat had made its nest in my lingerie drawer. It was as disgusting as it sounds. Lots of things got thrown away and the rest went through several washings. The breast form was a hopeless mess of silicone gel, fur, and lint. Fortunately by that time my local TG community had come to be serviced by various vendors selling lower cost breast forms in a more accepting environment. My next set was about $150. They lasted several years until they starting leaking from small punctures. I learned to be more careful and used silicone sealer for the leaks but the result was not very attractive. By that time Ebay and the Internet had made high quality silicone forms much more available and at a much lower cost. I bought several sets of Amoena for $50-80 each. My favorite was the Aire form which was triangle shaped and made of lightweight silicone foam. They fit nicely and were weighted but not too much. They are still my favorite and are the forms I wear most often.
Still I was interested in find alternatives which might be more natural or durable and I continued looking. More on that in a future post.
robin
Searching for the Perfect Bra – An Update
16 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Robin's Blogs, Tips, Tips For Cross Dressers
One of the benefits of blogging is that by sharing problems publically others can offer their suggestions and insights. About a 10 days ago I published a post concerning my problems in finding the perfect bra. I mentioned how much I liked underwire bras since they came in many pretty colors and styles but found them very uncomfortable after just a few hours. Shortly after it was published, Claudia wrote:
Robin
It is possible with care and a small scissor to remove the ‘wire’ from underwire bras so that they are comfortable for longer periods.
Somehow the idea of removing the underwire had escaped me entirely. Actually I think I may have tried it once a long time ago but the results were so disappointing that I had blocked the idea out entirely. Given Claudia’s inspiration I decided to try it again and the results were mostly very good. I have 6 underwire bras that are all lovely but so uncomfortable as to be unwearable. Still, I could not bring myself to part with them. I figured they would be good candidates for me to see what would happen if I removed the underwire.
I took some small scissors and make a small hole near one end of the underwire. I pulled back the underwire a little to make room for the cut. I then slipped the underwire out. It came out very easily for 5 of 6 bras. There was one for which the underwire seemed to have been attached to the bra at several points, but with some pushing, it eventually came out. The whole process to me 10 minutes.
The results were amazing. All of the bras become instantly comfortable! I wore two of them on two different days and had problems with comfort. One of the bras, a front hook, did not work so well holding my forms in without the underwire and so it will definitely be going to Goodwill but the others all worked great. I am so happy! Thanks so much for the suggestion Claudia.
I still have some molded bras that feel like putting your boobs into round cardboard boxes. While they are very pretty, they are even less comforable than the underwires with the wires. Any suggestions on how to make them more wearable?
robin
Dangling Earrings
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Fun things to do, Robin's Blogs, Tips
I like pretty earrings, especially loops and dangling ones. Unfortunately I don’t have my ears pierced for a variety of reasons (including that the very idea makes me sort of queasy). There are some clip earrings available but there are not many styles and they are mostly uncomfortable. The are often held with magnets or strong springs that make my ears hurt after a few hours, sometimes even a few minutes. Those that do exist 
tend to look sort of matronly, like the type of earrings your elderly aunts might wear: pearls, gaudy floral styles, strange combinations of gold, silver, or other materials, you get the idea.
Kicky, sexy, stylish, fun are not words that one would use to describe them. The loop earrings that do exist are spring loaded contraptions that would either fall off with a quick turn of the head or leave bruises.
Like my search for the perfect bra, I have also been looking over the years for cute and comforable clip earrings. I ended up with one set that I found at Macy’s that were both comfortable and somewhat stylish. I purchased several pair when I could find them and so I always had spares. They were part of my look for years and years. Meanwhile I looked with envy on all the cute earrings for pierced ears that could be found in stores or street faires.
Just recently I found the solution to my problem on ebay (surprise!). Several vendors were selling packages of 20 screw-on earring clips to which one could attach earrings designed for pierced ears. These clips have a
little loop in front to which on can attach the earring. They are held on your ear by a combination of a spring and a screw and so one can adjust the device for just the right amount of holding power and comfort. The package of 20 costs about a dollar, plus a couple of dollars from shipping. They come in either a gold or silver tone.
With these holders it is a pretty simple task to remove the “fishhook” from a pair of dangling or hoop earrings and attach the earring to the holder. I just use some needle nosed pliers and a little bit of the fishhook from the original earring. Here are two of my current favorites. The clip does not quite match the colors from the first earring but it is close enough.
Shopping on ebay
27 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in Fashion Tips For The Transgendered Woman, Robin's Blogs, Shopping, Tips, Tips For Cross Dressers, Wardrobe
I am a complete ebay shopaholic. I bought my first femme item in 1999 and since then I have bought over 1000 items from various vendors. I have bought everything: wigs, tops, pants, dresses, shoes, underwear, makeup, and jewelry. Probably more than half of my wardrobe comes from ebay. For me ebay shopping is mostly about getting a great deal. I have no problem going out and shopping in femme, but doing it on ebay can save lots of money. It also sometimes serves as “femme time” when I cannot get out for one reason or another.
For my this post I thought I would share some of what I have learned over the last 10 years.
First, set a budget for what you buy. I have a rule: No more than $20 for any single item. This includes tops, bottoms, shoes, etc.. I cheat a little when it comes to dresses and suits but they are “really” two pieces (or at least that is what I tell myself). What I typically spend is usually a lot less, probably around $10-12 per item.
Second, really know your measurements and don’t believe sizes. If the item does not have measurements, don’t buy it. Women’s clothes have become “larger” over the years so that what is now a 14 used to be a 16 or an 18. It also helps to know the difference between Misses, Juniors, and Womens (or plus sized). A 14W is quite a different garment than a 14. Again the trick is to know your measurements and that of the garment.
Third, find your favorite designers and buy their items. I have 5 to 7 designers that make up most of my wardrobe (including shoes). I have found their products fit me well and leads to a consistent look. Your favorites will take into account your own style, your age, and your body shape. Of course one can always get something from an unknown, but the risk of it not working out is higher.
Fourth, buying multiple items from the same seller at the same time can result in significant savings in shipping costs. Usually they will “combine” shipping costs so that the total is less than for the same number of individual items.
Fifth, expect to toss anywhere from quarter to half of what you buy. It will not fit right, it will not look right, the color is not what you expected, etc.. Most of the time it will not be worth returning, even if the seller allows it. I think I have returned something maybe 5 times. They have all been dresses that I paid between $30-40. If I have paid $15 for a skirt and want to return it, the postage is probably $5-7 plus my time. Usually it is not worth it. This is part of the reason why I have the $20 rule.
Sixth, if you are just starting out consider buying “lots”. These are usually used items that a seller has bundled together that are the same size and often coordinated. Sometimes one can get 20-30 items for $100-150. It is a great way to start a wardrobe. Of course, you will toss half of it but it is still a great deal.
Finally, figure out how you are going to pay for the items and have them shipped to you. Given my situation, I cannot have them shipped to my home and so I got a Post Office box (it is only $64/year) under my guy name. All my ordering on ebay is under my femme name but I still have it shipped to the PO box. The Post Office will usually accept mail for a PO box with a different name than is on the registration. I “trained” the people at my local post office by mailing all sorts of “dummy” items to my PO box using my femme name and so they got used to delivering it. I have never had them reject a real ebay package. If they ask I just say a friend is using my PO box while she is traveling and they are okay with that.
That is for now. If you have any useful ebay experiences please drop me a note.
robin
