I'm Back!

Hi from Denae. I have been tardy, in my entry on the blog. You may know,  I have been working on 3 new dvd’s and they are such a lot of work, to arrange taping, then thinking about everything to say…and staying on track..and then editing them, and then there was version 1, version2, and3 edit.

Regardless, it was great to hear from several of you, and I am thrilled you are enjoying the many tips, Yes, as one of you said… everyone should read back over the previous months…for the many, many tips you can use for dressing. I  also learn, from many of my clients, who tell me some tip that they found works, or a product, or a line of clothing, that works for them, and I always pass that on. So, if any of you out there, have a valuable tip…that I have not discussed…then do share it with everyone!

I am sure, others will enjoy hearing any special makeup tip, or where to purchase specific types of clothing, such as Tall.

Oh, I was watching the Tyra show recently, and she had a special life coach on…who had the entire audience of girls…wearing dark green garbage bags, with belts at the waist. His point was this–It didn’t matter if a girl had on a Prada this or designer that. The clothing was not….what created a feminine, confident female. The suit may make a man…but…. only the clothing….. does not make a truly, feminine woman. And, while clothing styles, make-up, and hair are important–the way we walk, hold our heads, that special “vib” that is project while walking and connecting and caring about others…. is the girl, that others will remember. No one but you, will remember the shoes you wore!

 Others, don’t notice our shoes, or our blouse. Sure, they will “see” and make a three second impression of us by what color outfit etc…we’re wearing,  how the over-all package looks, but the clothing alone does not “sell” you or get you very far (beyond a minute or so). The point was simple–if you can wear a dark green garbage bag with a belt around it…and walk really condiently with a smile and warm beam…you have mastered the art of feminine deportment, beauty, and sensual femininity.

Recently, I attended Southern Comfort in Atlanta, where I speak every year. That Sat night, there were many girls in their long evening gowns….waiting for dinner. The dresses were stunning, but again….it wasn’t just the dress, it was the BEING in the dress. It was the smile, the happiness, the friendly connection, the personality, it was what was being projected–that made others want to approach. I saw several girls, standing alone… in a $1,000.00 beaded gown, who did not come across as a happy, confident female, as I thought to myself…did she think wearing the most expensive dress…would make her “pass”? Sad, to see a beautiful outfit on a gg or tg go un-noticed…due to insecurity, being shy, or simply depending on the outfit to do the work. I suppose it is a balance of a nice presentation, with a confident, feminine, approachable vib…that is “that” girl who walks by…and causes men to lean out of their chairs to get a second look.

Okay, lets call it, working it!

 So,  get out there and put on your version of a garbage bag…your best casual jeans, and casual blouse with average shoe (instead of the garbage bag). See if the happy, confident, smiling vib you are feeling inside….with approachable smile and eye contact…will work better than the outfit.

 Lets don’t depend on “just clothing” to do all the work. After all, people do look at our faces, and smiles, right? Mostly, everyone wants others to see them, notice them. That is the girl,  everyone remembers. We all want to feel accepted, right?

Blending, Smiling, and taking the time to look at others in the eyes. Get out of racing thoughts in your head, and pull yourself back down….into your body. Feel your body, feel your walk, feel your feet moving on the floor, feel the heel of your foot moving and turning, feel your legs reaching, and feel yourself being happy, feel your eyes opening up and looking around, and feel your lips, …moving, feel your shoulders moving with your head, and projecting how good you feel about yourself…to the world. Don’t be self absorbed– that’s not pretty. Be open, and be you. Mostly, be in your body, and out of your head…with doubt and fear.

E-mail any tips or suggestions you have…for others to read!

Walk YOUR walk,


5 thoughts on “I'm Back!

  1. Im a new girl, or newly “out” truly greatful for the helpful info. Wearing my first wig Ive got lots to learn. Thanks again Joanna

  2. Hi Denae, I love your website and am sure you’ll teach me the proper way to be a lady.To be able to pass is of the upmost importance when transitioning. The real me, the woman inside this body I’m stuck in, has been allowed no freedom to express herself and will need much help in the coming days, weeks, and months, to refine herself, to truely be herself. I can see you put alot of hard work into this and I am most appreciative of your effort’s. I will do my best to prove your work is not going to waste. Your cause is a noble cause. You are an angel, my savior. Your effort’s will transform me into the woman I’ve always wanted to be. There’s a lot of work to be done. I was in a motorcycle accident back in 2000. I lost part of my right leg. I gave up my dream for the past eight year’s, this has been a lifelong struggle, now that urge to be a woman has kicked into overdrive. There are woman who are diabled like me. Sure, I can’t wear high heels and will just have a hard time dealing with this and other issue’s. After eight long year’s I’ve decided I can’t live as a man no more. I want to leave this world as a woman. Beside’s by bum leg, I’m in pretty good shape. Please tell me there’s hope for me. Am I a useless cause, or can there be a chance for me to be as gracious as you. I put a shortcut on my desktop to your site and will be soaking up all I can to further myself. I love the way you write, you express yourself so well. If you teach as well as you write than I’m in good hands. All I know is, I want to come across as a happy confident female, with that feminine, approachable vib. I want to be “that” girl.
    I just found your site recently and see you have an archive going back to 2006. From what I read in the paragragh next to this box, I’ve already learned a few things. It’s important on how you project yourself. I like what I’m reading. This is already putting myself in the right state of mind, telling me what I need to know to be more feminine. Keep up the good work Denae, I might yet see salvation.

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