Oh, I was watching the Tyra show recently, and she had a special life coach on…who had the entire audience of girls…wearing dark green garbage bags, with belts at the waist–and he had them walking the cat walk wearing only green garbage bags with a tight belt. His point was this–It didn’t matter if a girl had on a Prada this or designer that. The clothing was not….what created a feminine, confident female. The suit may make a man…but…. only the clothing….. does not make a truly, feminine woman. And, while clothing styles, make-up, and hair are important–the way we walk, hold our heads,( that special “vib” women project while walking and connecting with others) is the girl people will notice and remember. No one but you, will remember the shoes you wore!
Others, don’t notice our shoes, or our blouse. Sure, they will “see” and make a three second impression of us by what color outfit etc…we’re wearing, how the over-all package looks, but the clothing alone does not “sell” you or get you beyond a minute or so. The point was simple–if you can wear a dark green garbage bag with a belt and walk really condiently with a smile and warm beam…you have mastered the art of feminine deportment, beauty, and sensual femininity.
Recently, I attended Southern Comfort in Atlanta, where I speak every year. That Sat night, there were many girls in their long evening gowns….waiting for dinner. The dresses were stunning, but again….it wasn’t just the dress, it was the BEING in the dress. It was the smile, the happiness, the friendly connection, the personality, it was what was being projected–that made others want to approach. I saw several girls, standing alone… in a $1,000.00 beaded gown, who did not come across as a happy, confident female. I thought to myself…did she think wearing the most expensive dress…would make her “pass”? Sad, to see a beautiful outfit on a gg or tg go un-noticed…due to insecurity, being shy, or simply depending on the outfit to do the work. I suppose it is a balance of a nice presentation, with a confident, feminine, approachable vib and being ”that” girl who walks by…and causes men to leap out of their chairs to get a second look”.
Okay, lets call it, working it!
So, get out there and put on your version of a garbage bag…your best casual jeans, and casual blouse with average shoe (instead of the garbage bag). See if the happy, confident, smiling vib you are feeling inside….with approachable smile and eye contact…will work better than the outfit.
Lets don’t depend on “just clothing” to do all the work. After all, people do look at our faces, and smiles, right? Mostly, everyone wants others to see them, notice them. That is the girl, everyone remembers. We all want to feel accepted, right?
Blending, Smiling, and taking the time to look at others in the eyes. Get out of racing thoughts in your head, and pull yourself back down….into your body. Feel your body, feel your walk, feel your feet moving on the floor, feel the heel of your foot moving and turning, feel your legs reaching, and feel yourself being happy, feel your eyes opening up and looking around, and feel your lips, …moving, feel your shoulders moving with your head, and projecting how good you feel about yourself…to the world. Don’t be self absorbed– that’s not pretty. Be open, and be you. Mostly, be in your body, and out of your head…with doubt and fear. Look at others in the eyes and ask THEM questions. Begin with the sales person at your local 7-11 store. Even in male mode, begin looking at others in the eyes and saying hello, and asking them how they are. This is wonderful practice, when dressed and out. Do your homework, practice your movement and voice, makeup and hair. Then, set it down and depend on your practice to pull you through. Take a big breath, smile, and go!
E-mail any tips or suggestions you have…for others to read!
Walk YOUR walk,