Archive | January 2012

jEANS fOR TUSH

Hello Brenda, to respond to your question..where to purchase the new LIFT your tush jeans, they are available at Macy’s. Very resonable, very tight on lower leg, and lift your tush. You will love them! They also have new leggings that are more like tight jeans, and not the previoius cotton leggings. These are great with the longer tops–if you want to cover up your tush!

Enjoy your shopping!

Denae

Creating A More Feminine Personaliy

Types, from the Dr. Phil Show today. Oct 22, 2010 show.

Hi everyone, welcome to my FI blog.

In working with serious TG women, many who are considering full time transition, I have noticed some male to female clients…have stronger, more black and white personality types. When in their feminine presentation, this personality type can come across more controlling, less passionate, and often gets in the way of my training.

 

Today, I watched this show on Dr. Phil, describing

The Five Personalithy Traits by Dr. Sam Gosling, from the Univ of Texas at Austin.

Do you feel, both men and women have the same personality traits, or does one gender generally have more of certain personality traits —due to nature and/or nuture And, can a serious transitioning TG woman work towards changing more male personality traits? If not, does this affect their success and new life? I truly don’t know, and I would love to hear your input and anyone who has transitioned, if this has been an issue/ or if hormones do change some or all, or none of this? Lets discuss this, I am very open—as I often reach a WALL with certain personality types, and have not understood it, until watching this show. Question- Does this apply to transition?

Dr. Sam Gosling is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says about You. He explains, “Snoop is about how we can express ourselves, both deliberately and unconsciously, in the spaces around us, and, in turn, how you can look at spaces around people and figure out what they’re like. Some of it they want to tell you, and they’re being authentic when they do that, but some of the things they tell you accidentally, just by the way they leave their objects on their desk, and organize their books and so on.”

 

“It seems like there is a real consensus that there are five big factors that describe personality right now,” Dr. Phil says. “I’m not saying that it’s perfect. Those five characteristics are openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.”

 

Dr. Gosling describes the five personality traits:

  • Openness
    “Imagine that you go into a restaurant. Are you the type of person, when you get the menu, who points to the thing you’ve never seen and say, ‘I’ll have that, whatever it is,’ or are you the sort of person who says, ‘I don’t even need to open the menu. I’ll have the spaghetti. I like what I know. I know what I like. Bring me the spaghetti’?” he asks.
  • Conscientiousness
    “Conscientiousness is more about people who think before they act. They plan,” Dr. Gosling says. “Are you the sort of person who only replaces the toilet roll when it runs out, or do you get some beforehand?”
  • Extroversion
    “These people tend to be more dominant. They tend to be more active, and they really get energized by people,” Dr. Gosling explains. “Many people can come to a party, but afterward, you can really tell between the introverts and the extroverts, because the introverts need to go sit down and be alone for a bit to decompress, whereas the extroverts are energized by it.”
  • Agreeableness 
    “It’s really people who are warm, sympathetic, versus people who are going to tell it to you bluntly, and they’re not going to try to hide their feelings. They’re going to be direct with you,” Dr. Gosling says.
  • Neuroticism
    This trait relates to stability, stress and worry. “It depends on what kind of a world you live in. If you’re in a world full of threats, then it’s good to be very alert to threats. If you’re in a safe world, which most of us are now, then you can get very anxious and worried, worrying about things that aren’t actually threats to you,” Dr. Gosling explains.

The Ahh Bra and a New Shoe Store

Its now been almost 2 weeks since my last post (in which I promised to post more) and I have not posted anything…I have often found that the best way to get (re)started on something is to start with little things rather than doing the big task. In that spirit, here are some little posts..

One of the gifts my BFF gave me for Christmas was an “Ahh Bra”. I had seen informercials for them on TV and noticed them on the shelves of my local drug store but had never seriously considered them. At around $20 they seemed a little too expensive to buy without the opportunity to try one first. My friend thought it would be a fun gift and so she got it for me. The Ahh Bra is more like a sports bra than anything else. It is all stretch with very wide shoulder straps and band. The cups are wireless and are formed of the same stretch material. You pull it over your head like a tank top.

I wore it the day after I received it and found it to be really comfortable. It fit very snuggly but did not pinch. The wide bands stayed in place without much adjustment throughout the 14 hours I wore it. The bra held my forms in place very nicely. After a few minutes, the sense of wearing a bra almost went away as the bra and my shirt seemed to blend together. It was the most comfortable bra I have ever worn (just like the commercial says!).

I wanted to find some more and so I went to ebay where I found that the bra is made by “Rhonda Sheer” who has a whole line of similar underwear. I recalled that I had bought some stretch shapers by her years ago but I had never really worn them. I found bras in lots of very pretty colors (and not just the nude color in the stores) and I was able to buy a package of 4 in different colors for around $25 (which is about what the infomercial charges for one). I have since worn one of those and found it to be also very comfortable. They may become my new bra of choice from now on.

Over the Holidays I also stumbled across a great chain of shoe stores called “DB Shoes”. They are located throughout California and Nevada but also have a web site (www.dbshoes.com). In some ways they are like a smaller version of DSW Shoes but are much less expensive. They have all sorts of shoes ranging from flip-flops to heels and boots to running shoes. Some were well known designers while others seemed “house brands.” Most were between $15 and $50. They were very friendly and I ended up buying three pairs of boots, for only $20 each. None were really “designer” brands but all look nice and are very comfortable. One was a calf high black boot made out of a suede-like material. It had about a 1 inch heel. The second was a knee high, brown boot with almost no heel. It is cut fuller so that I can wear them over jeans which makes a look I really like. The third pair were black ankle boots with laces. They are sort of casual but look really nice. They also look great with jeans.

I will be heading back to their store soon. At $20 a pair, one cannot have too many shoes!

robin

Happy New Year From Robin

I have always really disliked bloggers who publish on a regular basis and then disappear. I would start reading their updates and would check in everyday to see what new item they had posted. I really did not expect them to update every day but I still checked in. But then one day they would just stopped posting. I checked in everyday for a while and then once a week and then often. I wondered what happened to them. I could understand if they posted something like “I am taking a break” or “I am really too busy to post right now” but to just stop without warning seemed just plain rude.

Say hello to “miss rude”.

I had not really intended to stop posting but it just sort of happened. My last post (Nov 11) was almost two months ago. I wrote a post on “passing” and had several more posts in progress but somehow I never got around to finishing them. I had a couple of business trips that put me behind at work and then some family medical issues and so I was really pressed for time. I was also working on some other projects for Denae and before I knew it it, two weeks had gone past and it was Thanksgiving. Between family events and Black Friday shopping, another week slipped by. One more business trip and it was now Dec 11 and a whole month had gone by. At that point I was feeling really guilty about being a absent blogger which made me want to avoid the whole site entirely. I don’t think I even looked at the site for weeks as it inspired more and more guilt. Denae started posting again and I felt a little “off the hook”, but I still wanted to get back to it.

It was like going to the gym, going reinforces going. Once you start skipping going, there is always a good reason to not go (“this week is already almost over, I will start next Monday and get back into the habit then”).

In any case, I am going to start posting again. I have a list of topics I put together before I started and have only covered some of them. Denae and I will share the blog for now, posting whenever either of us wants.

robin