Tag Archive | dTransgendered Coaching and Help

Thank you "A" for your post


Hi Denae,

I thought I would send you a message about my attending
San Francisco Ballet last night.  I had a couple of items
I wanted to wear, and I had not been out dressed in awhile.

I wore a silk blouse by Citrion which I bought at Nordstroms.
The blouse was black with a muted floral print.  I wore a black
skirt with sequins sown on a strip of black chiffon at the hem.
I accessorized with a silver sequined chiffon shawl I wore
draped evenly around my neck.

The night turned out to be absolutely fabulous, with the least
of that being the performance.  I deposited my coat at the coat
check and the lady in line behind me remarked how lovely my blouse
was and where did I get it.  We had a nice chit-chat about where
I got my blouse until she deposited her coat.  I went to my seat
for the performance.  During the first intermission the woman next
to me asked my how I enjoyed it.  It turns out she was a former
dancer and had moved to San Francisco about five years ago.  We
talked about the arts in San Francisco during that and the second
intermission, and at the end of the performance said our goodbyes.
I went to retrieve my coat and again ran into the lady I had met
earlier.  She again said how much she adored my blouse and I thanked
her profusely.

I relate this because I was able to keep in my voice all the way
through, and I found it was easier as I was more relaxed.  When I
told the former dancer I enjoyed opera, she asked me what would be some
good operas to see initially, since she had never been.  So I was able
to talk in my voice about things my boyself knew a lot about.

I thank you for encouraging me to find my voice and talk, rather than just
go through letters as one might go through scales on a musical instrument.
I know I made mistakes last night when I talked, but if they noticed, they
didn’t let on.  It was so much fun to go dressed in lovely clothes, and then
converse with other women about various topics.  I can’t wait to go to the

By the way, I called my fashion consultant at Nordstrom’s and told her about
the blouse.  She was very happy about the reaction I got.  One should always
thank people who help you in life.

Best always,


TG Outside Femiinity Coaching

all- By popular email, requesting to read more about my advanced cliennts….herewith part 2 of the story with Joan….a client of 6 years!

Joan At Breakfast

When the food arrived, I saw a change in Joan’s demeanor. As she picked up both the knife and fork, she became disconnected from me, from the room. I had seen this many times, in TG clients. The instinct to eat fast, and to take large bites, as if they are in a hurry to finish every last crumb as they gulp down their water. The contrast between her graceful appearance and the way she attacked her food—could not be more striking. I reached across e table and touched Joan on the arm, and reminded her of our conversations about eating in a graceful way, regardless of how hungry you are. I encouraged her to sit back and relax and to simply eat more slowly, while still chatting with me. Something as simple, as setting your fork down as you chew so you can enjoy the company of others. To make my point, we noticed a man sitting near us. When he reached for his glass and finished off the glass with a series of large gulps, before setting his glass down. The image could not be more masculine. Joan was surprised and mentioned she had never been aware of this before, but she quickly realized a masculine eating style clashed with her graceful appearance that she had worked so hard to achieve. As an exercise, I had her take a few small bites and then lay her fork down and to reflect and engage with me between bites. I could see Joan struggle with this, but after a while she began to eat in a more feminine way, and she later commented that she felt more feminine than ever, by breaking this old habit. One, which she had not realized she was even doing. It as an Ah-Ha Moment for Joan.

Once we were finished, our waitress was giving us the bill and told Joan how good she looked and how envious she was of Joan’s thin figure.
While getting in the car, Joan realized at 26 yrs old…. she could keep her thin figure, by being aware of how she eats and what she eats.