Experimenting with a new wig
24 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Wigs For Transgendered Women
One of the key lessons I learned from the first “feminine image consultant” I went to, a wonderful woman named Wilhemina Beins, was that the most important item in a TG woman’s wardrobe is her wig. This is simply because the wig is likely to be worn with every outfit and is thus a big part of your personal “style”. In many ways your wig defines you. The best wigs are human hair wigs or at least blends of human and synthetic hair. I took her advice and we went shopping at a local wig salon where I spent over $400 on my first human hair blend wig. I wore it almost every day for years until I accidently damaged it with a too hot hair dryer while trying to dry it in a hurry (it was crispy!). Fortunately by that time eBay had come into being with lots of wig merchants. I was able to upgrade to a full human hair wig (for less than $400) which I colored myself to make it more interesting and then had styled at a local hair stylist (which is another story). Like my first one, it is sort of medium length with a mixed light/medium brown color. Human hair wigs are beautiful and natural looking but take LOTS of care. I learned how to wash it, apply conditioner, and then comb it out. I spent lots of time with curlers and/or curling irons, trying to give it shape and body. My attention to my wig is really the exception to my “get dressed fast” rule. As Wilhemina said, the wig is the most important part of your image and as such, I pay attention to it. Still its a lot of work.
At Denae’s suggestion, I decided to experiment a new wig from The Breastform Store. I wanted to both try out a different style as well as to revisit synthetic wigs. It has probably been more than 10 years since I even owned a synthetic hair wig, much less actually wore one. I have also pretty much had the same style for the same period. It was time to try something different.
The BFS carries lots of wigs, including human hair ones, but I picked one of their inexpensive synthetic hair wigs made by Estetica Designs in their “Risque” product line. While they use synthetic hair, they appeared to look natural and so I gave it a try. I figured it would save me some time as well as letting me try a different style than I had worn for years. I worked with a real person, Eden, in their customer service department who helped me pick a color and style. Having someone to talk to is a lot nicer than ordering in the “blind” from an ebay seller. She asked about eye color and skin tone and desired styles and then recommended a couple of options. Together we picked a style called “Reaction” which is shoulder length and with big curls. It cost a little more than $50, less than a ticket to the Symphony. Here is what it looks like
:
As soon as I received it in the mail, I tried it on. It immediately passed the “fit test” as it fit comfortably on my head (which is rather large). If it fits my head, it will probably fit any head. The curls brushed out without only a small amount of work and with minimal hair loss. It took me some effort to get used to the curls as my regular wigs are shorter and mostly stay off my face. After awhile, though, it was sort of fun to have the curls bounce around. It helped soften my face and was unmistakenly feminine. It was clearly a fun, “kicky” look but probably years (decades?) too young for me. Despite all the curls, there was only limited tangling as I wore it and moved around during the day. Those that did appear could be removed with just my hand.
I really liked the multiple colors in the wig. There were highlights throughout that kept it interesting and natural looking. It was not some boring monochrome wig. It was also not too “shiny”, a curse of many synthetic wigs.
One of the advantages of synthetics is that they are easy to wash and quick to dry. After wearing it for several hours, I washed and dried it. I followed the suggestion as to how to do it and the whole process was done in far less time time than with my human hair wig. Again, I was able to brush the tangles out with minimal effort and hair loss. Unlike many synthetic wigs, this one allows use of a curling iron to style it. While this particular wig did not need any more curls, I did try a curling iron on it with no ill effects. I was able to add some additional curls as well as straightening some of the original curls. This particular option would be more useful on styles that had much less curl.
So am I ready to switch to synthetic wigs to replace my human hair ones? Probably not, despite the ease of use and low cost. In the end, no synthetic wig will ever match the natural look and feel of a good human hair wig. The difference can be instantly felt just by running your hand through the hair. If you want to spend lots of time out in public and not have people detect the wig, going human hair is really the way to go. They may still figure out its a wig, but it is harder. For me, this wig would be fun to wear for a change to TG functions where one worries less about passing, but not for extended public outings.
For those TG girls who dress at home or spend limited time in public, it would work fine. It is fun to wear, easy to maintain, durable, and reasonably inexpensive. For not a lot of money, one could buy several and use them to develop your own personal style before buying a human hair wig. For the cost of one visit to a stylist (not to mention the cost of a human hair wig), one can get a whole new hair style! Most genetic women go through many hair styles before deciding on one they like (unlike us, they can grow out their mistakes). TG women can experience the same sense of fun and self discovery using wigs such as these.
robin
Robin Tried A New Wig From The Breast Form Store
18 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
Hello Ladies- Robin is out of town, and will be posting about her new wig from the Breast Form Store. She tried it on for me, and we went out. I believe this is the PERFECT wig (especially for the new girl) as it is mid length, comes in many colors, and has curls which are light and stay in. So, no worry about after care, just put it on and go. It comes in around the neck, and if you are concerned about having a larger neck-this covers! The bangs are darling, can be down or brushed over to one side. And, the price!! You will not find a wig as good as this, at their price. I will have Robin give you more details, photo and price….but do go to http://www.breastformstore.com and look at their wigs. They also have wonderful breast form pads in all shapes and sizes, and heels which will fit! So, if you do not want to spend a lot of money, but have a family owned business…which will answer your questions over the telephone (yes they answer their calls) this is a greast place to start, and you can return items if not used. dIf you’re new don’t spend $500.00 on a wig you have not tried on!! This wig is around $100.00 and is their number 1 seller for the TG woman!!
I love it, and wore it myself!
Denae
Going to the Symphony – Being there
11 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Fun things to do, Real Life Test for TG Woman, Robin's Blogs
After my wonderful 7-11 tuna sandwhich, it was time to think about changing into the clothes I would wear to the symphony. Given I was already wearing a skirt and pullover top, changing in the suit I had chosen to wear to the symphony should be pretty easy. I had purchased this JNY suit on ebay almost a year ago but had not worn it anywhere. As I have mentioned before, I have become more casual in what I wear over the last few years. It was not long ago that I tended toward a more professional look, favoring skirt suits and pant suits over anything more casual. I had accumulated way too many such outfits along the way and have been loath to get rid of any of them as I love them all. Still, the opportunities to get dressed up are mostly limited to the symphony or some other classical performance like the ballet. Going to the mall in a skirt suit or other professional attire makes blending in harder.
The skirt suit I had chosen was a lighter shade of blue although not like a powder or pastel blue. It is sort of a hard color to define, almost like a steel blue. Given it was almost like a spring day (although in the middle of winter) the suit fit in perfectly. If it had been cold or rainy, I would have worn something more somber but on a clear, sunny day it worked. The jacket had a zipper front without any decoration and without a collar. It almost looked like a more casual jacket but it was clearly a dress garment. The skirt was knee length and straight. I tried all sorts of tops but none really worked except for a sleeveless shell that had horizonal stripes across it. The stripes were in all sorts of shades of blue and so it worked with suit. The only problem is that it was a little tighter around the bust than I recalled. Still it was comfortable and looked nice with the skirt. My shoes were midheel black pumps that looked nice and were comfortable.
I ended up changing in a parking garage that was next to the mall. It was done in just a couple of minutes and I was on my way. I arrived at my favorite parking lot near Davies Symphony Hall and left my car with the attendant. He asked me “Ma’am, how long will be leaving your car” and I told him just a few hours. I paid my $10 and walked to Davies. I had printed out my ticket and so was able to get right in. I was almost 20 minutes early and so I killed some time wandering about. Shortly before the symphony was to start, I made a stop at the ladies room as the lines at intermission are often long.
I made it to my seat with time to spare. I sat in a short row of just 3 seats and the other two were filled with women who clearly had come together and were engaged in a lively conversation. Both pretty much ignored me. Since I had forgotten to get a program I entertained myself by people watching.
The first program was Mozart’s Piano Concerto #9. I had not heard it before but generally enjoy Mozart. Unfortunately I found it rather dull and unmoving. It was one of his early concertos but lacked, at least to me, the thrill and emotion of his later ones. The audience seemed to feel the same way as afterwards the applause felt a little unenthusiastic. The piano soloist played well, but it was just not that moving.
At intermission, I left my seat and wandered around the symphony hall. I purchased some bottled water that I could take inside and visited the ladies room again. I decided to sit someplace else for the second half of the performance and found a nice place that was to the immediate right of the orchestra. At Davies there are seats that form a “U” around the orchestra and which provide a great view of the performs. They are the cheapest seats in the place (normally only $25). I had seem some were not taken and so I slipped into one of them.
After the performance started it occured to me that I was sitting in such a way that virtually everyone in the hall had a clear view of me!! I had a moment of panic but at that point it was not like I could get up and move. I consoled myself that everyone would probably be looking at the orchestra and hence I would just blend in with dozens of other faces. So much for keeping a low profile…
The performance itself was Tchaikovsky’s 5th Symphony. I am an absolute fan of him and love the emotion and passion of his work. I always feel like I am on an emotional rollar coaster when I listen to his works. The 3rd and 5th Symphonies are among my favorite pieces. I discovered the 5th years ago by mistake. I thought I was attending Bethoveen’s 5th but I had misread the date and got Techaikovsky 5th instead. It was a wonderful surprise.
The performance this time was like meeting a wonderful old friend. I knew what to expect and still loved it. Where I was sitting I could see what instruments played which parts and that added a whole additional level of enjoyment. When I hear recordings of it now I can visual the trumpets, french horns, violins, drums, and other instruments and where they are located. It is not longer just music but is almost a 3D experience.
The performance soon ended and I walked back to my car and drove out of the City. The traffic was a mess but I was happy. I finished the day with a quick dinner with my BFF at a local India restaurant. The day had gone mostly as I had expected. I had done some shopping and found some nice things and then went to the symphony and heard some of my favorite music. All had taken place without incident and I was treated well by all I encountered. Even the unexpected work meeting had its own pleasant twist. How often do I get to attend work meetings “en femme”?
robin
Going to the Symphony – Getting there
06 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Fun things to do, Robin's Blogs
As Denae mentioned in her last post, I went to the San Francisco Symphony this week. I had originally planned to go Friday night with a friend but problems arose with that and so I went alone on Thursday afternoon. The symphony performed Mozart’s 9th Piano Concerto and Tchaikovsky’s 5th Symphony. The later is one of my favorite pieces but I will get back to the Symphony later.
Since the performance was in the afternoon, I decided to take the day off work and enjoy some extended time “en femme”. It had been a while since I had a whole day free and so I decided to make the most of it (I thought). I was planning on getting a little dressed up for the concert and thought that it would not quite be appropriate for wandering around shopping malls. I wanted to be able to make the change between outfits fast and so I decided to wear a long sleeve top and skirt for the shopping time. The skirt is a black JNY corduroy one that is a real favorite. I like them so much I have them in olive and tan. They are comfortable and look nice. The top was a patterned t-shirt I bought at Kohl’s. I have really gotten to like the patterned t-shirts at Kohl’s. They seem to have a new one every few weeks and it usually ends up in my closet. They are $10-15 and so it is not a large investment. This particular one had lots of colors: black, olive, brown, violet, tan, etc.. Somehow they were all mixed together in a nice pattern. I often combine the t-shirts with my collection of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans for all sorts of looks. It is a much more casual look than I used to have but I feel a lot more comfortable in it, both in terms of physical comfort as well as “fitting in” with how other women dress. Oddly enough, it still feels as “femme” as a skirt suit or a dress. This day, however, I combined it with the corduroy skirt and it still felt pretty casual.
I wore some black MJ shoes that look nice and are very comfortable. They are leather and have a little bit of a rise in the heel. I have worn them for hours and hours and just love them. I brought along a knit jacket but did not need it as the temperature was almost 70 degrees! I visited a mall along the way to SF and it had a Sears, Penny’s, and my new favorite show store, DB shoes. I stopped at JCP first since they have changed all their pricing away from sales and to sort of a “everyday low pricing” model. Macy’s did the same thing which lead me to not shop so much their. Getting rid of sales seems to have the opposite effect on me that what they expect. If I can get it tomorrow for the same price as today, why buy it today?? I wandered through JCP and was nicely greeted by various sales people. I ended up buying one thing, a lightweight black cardigan sweater. I am trying to do more layering and it goes well over my t-shirts. It was a nice price ($14). Unfortunately I did not like most of the rest of the clothes there. They have more problems that just pricing.
From there I stopped at DB Shoes. I was actually a little irritated at them since they refused to accept a pair of boots I tried to return on the grounds that they had been worn. I was returning them since it turned out I had a pair just like them at home (which is why I liked them in the store). I bought them off the clearance rack ($169 marked down to $39) but did not need another pair. Both the clerk and the manager claimed they had been worn (they had not) and so refused to accept them. I stormed out of the store and vowed never to return. Unfortunately they have great deals and so it was an empty threat, but at least I refused to go back to that store. I had never been in this particular store but it was a lot like the others. Lots of shoes from running shoes to boots to outlandish heels. Mostly well known brands but some unknown ones too (and some “store” brands). Too many choices, I could spend lots of money here. I ended up getting a pair of black “scrunchy” knee high boots in a faux suede material and a pair of black Keds walking shoes. Both are closed with zippers. Neither have much of a heel and so are comfortable for wearing for hours and hours. The boots are big enough to go over my jeans and since they are black, they go with most of the jeans. I could also wear them with a longish skirt. I was treated nicely by the sales clerk as were all the other customers in the store.
At that point, I had hoped to spend even more time exploring the mall but got a phone call on my cell phone from my boss who wanted me to call into an unscheduled meeting. Although I was officially not working, I needed to be part of the meeting and so spent the next two hours sitting outside a McDonalds on the phone watching slides on my notebook courtesy of their free WiFi hotspot. It was hardly the day I planned but I did take perverse delight in attending the meeting en femme. Once again, I was really glad we don’t use video conferencing!! I had planned a nice lunch but ended up at 7-11 buying a tuna sandwich as by the time the meeting was over I had very little time to get dressed for the symphony and drive into San Francisco.
This has gone on longer than expected and so I will cover my time at the Symphony in my next post.
robin
Robin’s Outing In SF To The Symphony
03 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
Hello Ladies- this is Denae. I just spoke with my assistant (Robin who has been blogging also) and last night she got dressed up and went to SF to a special event. I will let her tell you about it, so…Robin don’t be shy! Tell them how it went, how you prepared, etc! I am proud of you!!
Denae
jEANS fOR TUSH
19 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Wardrobe Tags: TG Clothing For Women
Hello Brenda, to respond to your question..where to purchase the new LIFT your tush jeans, they are available at Macy’s. Very resonable, very tight on lower leg, and lift your tush. You will love them! They also have new leggings that are more like tight jeans, and not the previoius cotton leggings. These are great with the longer tops–if you want to cover up your tush!
Enjoy your shopping!
Denae
Creating A More Feminine Personaliy
16 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in TG Issues
Types, from the Dr. Phil Show today. Oct 22, 2010 show.
Hi everyone, welcome to my FI blog.
In working with serious TG women, many who are considering full time transition, I have noticed some male to female clients…have stronger, more black and white personality types. When in their feminine presentation, this personality type can come across more controlling, less passionate, and often gets in the way of my training.
Today, I watched this show on Dr. Phil, describing
The Five Personalithy Traits by Dr. Sam Gosling, from the Univ of Texas at Austin.
Do you feel, both men and women have the same personality traits, or does one gender generally have more of certain personality traits —due to nature and/or nuture And, can a serious transitioning TG woman work towards changing more male personality traits? If not, does this affect their success and new life? I truly don’t know, and I would love to hear your input and anyone who has transitioned, if this has been an issue/ or if hormones do change some or all, or none of this? Lets discuss this, I am very open—as I often reach a WALL with certain personality types, and have not understood it, until watching this show. Question- Does this apply to transition?
Dr. Sam Gosling is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says about You. He explains, “Snoop is about how we can express ourselves, both deliberately and unconsciously, in the spaces around us, and, in turn, how you can look at spaces around people and figure out what they’re like. Some of it they want to tell you, and they’re being authentic when they do that, but some of the things they tell you accidentally, just by the way they leave their objects on their desk, and organize their books and so on.”
“It seems like there is a real consensus that there are five big factors that describe personality right now,” Dr. Phil says. “I’m not saying that it’s perfect. Those five characteristics are openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.”
Dr. Gosling describes the five personality traits:
- Openness
“Imagine that you go into a restaurant. Are you the type of person, when you get the menu, who points to the thing you’ve never seen and say, ‘I’ll have that, whatever it is,’ or are you the sort of person who says, ‘I don’t even need to open the menu. I’ll have the spaghetti. I like what I know. I know what I like. Bring me the spaghetti’?” he asks. - Conscientiousness
“Conscientiousness is more about people who think before they act. They plan,” Dr. Gosling says. “Are you the sort of person who only replaces the toilet roll when it runs out, or do you get some beforehand?” - Extroversion
“These people tend to be more dominant. They tend to be more active, and they really get energized by people,” Dr. Gosling explains. “Many people can come to a party, but afterward, you can really tell between the introverts and the extroverts, because the introverts need to go sit down and be alone for a bit to decompress, whereas the extroverts are energized by it.” - Agreeableness
“It’s really people who are warm, sympathetic, versus people who are going to tell it to you bluntly, and they’re not going to try to hide their feelings. They’re going to be direct with you,” Dr. Gosling says. - Neuroticism
This trait relates to stability, stress and worry. “It depends on what kind of a world you live in. If you’re in a world full of threats, then it’s good to be very alert to threats. If you’re in a safe world, which most of us are now, then you can get very anxious and worried, worrying about things that aren’t actually threats to you,” Dr. Gosling explains.
The Ahh Bra and a New Shoe Store
14 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Robin's Blogs, Shopping, Tips For Cross Dressers, Wardrobe
Its now been almost 2 weeks since my last post (in which I promised to post more) and I have not posted anything…I have often found that the best way to get (re)started on something is to start with little things rather than doing the big task. In that spirit, here are some little posts..
One of the gifts my BFF gave me for Christmas was an “Ahh Bra”. I had seen informercials for them on TV and noticed them on the shelves of my local drug store but had never seriously considered them. At around $20 they seemed a little too expensive to buy without the opportunity to try one first. My friend thought it would be a fun gift and so she got it for me. The Ahh Bra is more like a sports bra than anything else. It is all stretch with very wide shoulder straps and band. The cups are wireless and are formed of the same stretch material. You pull it over your head like a tank top.
I wore it the day after I received it and found it to be really comfortable. It fit very snuggly but did not pinch. The wide bands stayed in place without much adjustment throughout the 14 hours I wore it. The bra held my forms in place very nicely. After a few minutes, the sense of wearing a bra almost went away as the bra and my shirt seemed to blend together. It was the most comfortable bra I have ever worn (just like the commercial says!).
I wanted to find some more and so I went to ebay where I found that the bra is made by “Rhonda Sheer” who has a whole line of similar underwear. I recalled that I had bought some stretch shapers by her years ago but I had never really worn them. I found bras in lots of very pretty colors (and not just the nude color in the stores) and I was able to buy a package of 4 in different colors for around $25 (which is about what the infomercial charges for one). I have since worn one of those and found it to be also very comfortable. They may become my new bra of choice from now on.
Over the Holidays I also stumbled across a great chain of shoe stores called “DB Shoes”. They are located throughout California and Nevada but also have a web site (www.dbshoes.com). In some ways they are like a smaller version of DSW Shoes but are much less expensive. They have all sorts of shoes ranging from flip-flops to heels and boots to running shoes. Some were well known designers while others seemed “house brands.” Most were between $15 and $50. They were very friendly and I ended up buying three pairs of boots, for only $20 each. None were really “designer” brands but all look nice and are very comfortable. One was a calf high black boot made out of a suede-like material. It had about a 1 inch heel. The second was a knee high, brown boot with almost no heel. It is cut fuller so that I can wear them over jeans which makes a look I really like. The third pair were black ankle boots with laces. They are sort of casual but look really nice. They also look great with jeans.
I will be heading back to their store soon. At $20 a pair, one cannot have too many shoes!
robin
Happy New Year From Robin
02 Jan 2012 1 Comment
I have always really disliked bloggers who publish on a regular basis and then disappear. I would start reading their updates and would check in everyday to see what new item they had posted. I really did not expect them to update every day but I still checked in. But then one day they would just stopped posting. I checked in everyday for a while and then once a week and then often. I wondered what happened to them. I could understand if they posted something like “I am taking a break” or “I am really too busy to post right now” but to just stop without warning seemed just plain rude.
Say hello to “miss rude”.
I had not really intended to stop posting but it just sort of happened. My last post (Nov 11) was almost two months ago. I wrote a post on “passing” and had several more posts in progress but somehow I never got around to finishing them. I had a couple of business trips that put me behind at work and then some family medical issues and so I was really pressed for time. I was also working on some other projects for Denae and before I knew it it, two weeks had gone past and it was Thanksgiving. Between family events and Black Friday shopping, another week slipped by. One more business trip and it was now Dec 11 and a whole month had gone by. At that point I was feeling really guilty about being a absent blogger which made me want to avoid the whole site entirely. I don’t think I even looked at the site for weeks as it inspired more and more guilt. Denae started posting again and I felt a little “off the hook”, but I still wanted to get back to it.
It was like going to the gym, going reinforces going. Once you start skipping going, there is always a good reason to not go (“this week is already almost over, I will start next Monday and get back into the habit then”).
In any case, I am going to start posting again. I have a list of topics I put together before I started and have only covered some of them. Denae and I will share the blog for now, posting whenever either of us wants.
robin
TGSF
24 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
TGSF–For any of you coming to the San Francisco Bay Area in 2012–be sure and remember the SF support group TGSF.
Their web site willl have a calender of events–and many girls will work with me..while in the Bay Area.
Take a look at their site!
